Wednesday, November 25, 2009

crab meat

What in the name of turkey and crab meat pate is going on here? Lohbado has gone too far. Actually, it's a Club Morono Business Lunch. The heavy-weights got together to come up with a Code of Life, a tool to bludgeon those who resisted the Department of Regulation Policy of Standardization.

According to the Minister of Regulation, certain skills are required in order for a person to succeed in Morono World. Lohbado was sent to the Ooo community as a Trainer, employed by the DR (Department of Regulation), to fulfill the departmental mandate of bringing about standardization. Local inhabitants, due to radiation leak, had experienced a swelling of the right brain, causing heightened religious sensibility, memory loss and bewilderment. Many basic social skills had been lost and historical facts forgotten. Lohbado's job was to train the students to function in terrified, post-war society. To ensure that Lohbado taught Morono Curiculum, pedagogical counselors were sent out by the Department of Regulation to inform Trainers about what they should be training students to do.

The word "do" cannot be stressed enough in post-apocalyptic, action-based society where a man or woman are judged, not according to what they say, but according to what they do. One must be able to do what is expected, within reason and to never exceed the limit. Anyone deviating from the norm would be subject to corrective procedures laid out in the Code of Life. The level of corrective action would depend on the severity of the infraction. The pendulum of history had swung far from the free-wheeling days of the sixties to post-9/11 paranoia, self-regulated zombiness, ready to accept advanced interrogation techniques and pre-emptive strikes, killing innocent men, women and children, to make the world a safer place for the victims and the families of the victims, without worrying about collateral damage.

Most of the meeting involved a lot discussion about what types of interrogation could be permitted and to what degree human rights could be violated without distracting people from their favorite youtube clips or downloaded movies, cell phones, twittering twinkie devices, portable music players and trips to the shopping center. The discussion, veering away from consideration of what students could be taught, focused on how to deal with students who consistently did what they were not supposed to do. Lohbado, unable to concentrate, dreamed about boneless roast turkey and crab meat pate.

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