Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Balopian Tubes

The image and text are a preview of a graphic novel in progress entitled The Wheel of Lohbado

Sometimes I would feel the hunger coming on, a force building inside, forcing me to act. Sometimes it's not good to be a man of action. Friends told me to slow down. Look before you leap. Take time to reflect.

I talk this way after going through the conditioning and getting booted off Planet Blop. On Planet Blop, sin is not tolerated. They have effective ways of dealing with radiation leak, which occurred after the two nuclear explosions. They came up with a special cream, utilizing ergot as the active ingredient, discovered on moldy rye bread and proven to be effective in neutralizing effects of radiation.

The side effect turned out beneficial. The cream, applied to the body, caused what at first appeared to be tumors. After a six month gestation period, the tumors swelled and elongated into tubes, or tentacles. These tubes had intelligent nerve pathways enabling them to follow commands, in the same way as other limbs.

You could wag the balopian tubes like a tail. Suction cups at the end of each tube provided tubes with a sucking reflex. With balopian tubes, people of Planet Blop could hold a pen, pick up fallen items, scratch, push, pull and suck in a variety of ways. These tubes enabled Balopians to fulfill their own needs, making them both physically and emotionally stronger.

I got kicked off Planet Blop for misusing, abusing or perverting the Balopian tubes for selfish ends. The tubes led me into temptation and I did not resist. They sent me to Planet Earth, where apparently it's OK to sin, because there's an elaborate system of paying for your sins. If you're not able to pay, you can beg forgiveness.

A Blop agent warned me to wear long loose gowns to hide the tubes, while on earth, so as not to attract attention. I recently ran out of ergot cream. The tubes are burning and itchy. Only extensive massage was able to relieve the inflammation. Massage costs an arm and a leg. I now make this appeal for donations to help me raise enough money to pay for my sin on earth and to obtain a certificate of good behavior with a gold star on it.

These were the conditions of return. They booted me off Planet Blop and said don't come back until you're received a gold star certificate of good behavior. I met a man from a human church where they worship God and he said for one thousand dollars he could produce the required certificate, which would enable me to return to Blop.

Once that is done, I need to find a butcher to hack me into pieces and then to be eaten. The digestive process separates gross from sublime. The sublime part goes back to Planet Blop.The gross part goes to a sewage plant where liquids are separated and released into the river and solids aerated and used as compost or fertilizer. Before this can be done, I need the certificate, which could be scanned  and emailed as an attachment to authorities on Planet Blop. 

Please, send in your donations, addressed to Good Man Blop, Montreal, Quebec. A gold star certificate of good behavior would prove that I tried really hard, am sorry for what I did wrong and will do my best not to do it again.

No comments: