Monday, October 8, 2012

walk on the quiet side

woman from a beauty salon sign

I walked to the bank this afternoon and withdrew some money from the instant teller. It was enjoyable to walk slowly in the sunshine. There must be come sort of magnetic attraction among people. It often happens, when I’m strolling along, a person suddenly steps right in front of me and blocks the way. While walking down the hill, suddenly a young woman, wearing strong-smelling perfume, stepped in front of me. I couldn’t get around her. So I accepted the fact that I would be following her down the hill, our vibes interconnected. If she didn’t like it, she could get out of the way and let me pass. I lacked the stamina to sprint around her. I didn’t want to follow her. That’s how it ended up. This happens often.

    It also happened this morning. A woman in front of me, she became aware that I was behind her. I could tell she was self-conscious. She wouldn’t move or slow down to let me pass. I embraced the situation, making a virtue out of necessity. Maybe on an animal level, humans crave intimacy. Probably this is obvious. To me it feels like the world is upside down. Very little is obvious anymore. I feel schizoid or whatever, always so near and yet so far, invited to get close, but then pushed away. That’s the routine. Her body language screams: look at me. I look, she says: dirty old man. I say: leave me alone.

One time, at the market, a man stepped so close to my chest, we nearly collided. Then he decided to block my way. Without thinking, I groaned and said out loud: "Oh no, now I'm going to have to follow this guy all the way through the market."

He heard and was offended. He turned his head, but didn't say anything. I moved three or four paces to the left of him. We ended up following a parallel path. When I paused to take a picture, he also paused and glared at me. I kept stopping to look around. Each time I stopped, he too stopped, to let me know how my remark really pissed him off. When we reached the end of the passage, I paused to look up at the sky. He gave me a mean look, then we parted company.

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