Friday, August 27, 2010

Makefearsome's Ocean

"Another grand discobely!" (Finnegans Wake p. 294.) Back, from the real ocean of salt water to the horizon, sand and red cliffs, to the unreal ocean of samsara, or dog eat dog, catty world of the daily grind after vacation ends, don't be afraid as you plunge into the fearsome ocean.

Don't be afraid of Mr. McPherson, the man with loud footsteps in the apartment above. Resent it or not, (and I know hard working tax payers resent those without an income), another summer slides into another autumn and along with it, unresolved issues that drag along, year after year. 

A waitress at the local cafe welcomed me back. Once again I could sit and enjoy the spectacle of people requesting in a loud voice for someone to buzz and unlock the bathroom door. One could identify personality types based on how people ask for access to the toilets. 

During the summer I noticed the contrast between being alone, quiet, with low stimulation and  being among people. One could feel introspective and zombie-like after days and weeks alone and then feel excited, manic or a little chaotic inside when suddenly in a crowd. It takes an effort to maintain equilibrium while moving in and out of various worlds.

I also experienced the contrast of sleeping in a house, in a spacious bedroom and then back in a basement apartment, where one could hear shoes clomping back and forth above the ceiling. It's neither good nor bad. That's how it is, the ocean of city life.

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