Friday, July 31, 2009
Burp after smoked turkey on baguette. Bodies, desire, looking for somebody or something, not satisfied, driven to search, journey in quest of satiation.
Beauty imprint of light, color and form on the mind. Perception and then desire, cruising, appetite, talk, negotiation, check out the vibes, shopping, surprise package, is it what you wanted? The novelty soon wears off and then you're stuck with a relationship. Wake up and wonder: who is that person? You'd like him or her to go away. It felt ok the night before, but not the morning after; like dirty dishes piled up after the party.
Then you're out wandering the street alone again, checking out people and responding to beauty and pleasant mental sensation as beautiful people come and go. I went to a cafe, walked into the quiet dark room adjoining the noisy room, during Saturday afternoon. Take a few pain-killers. Coffee and a glas of water, wet burp reflux acid burn, sweat, drool, water spillage, coffee puddle on the table, one too many coffees stimulant, weird conversation, sweaty feet. Serious young men in puffy hairdos, tight tee shirts, torn jeans talk to bambi women, voices laughing and chatting. Off to one side, middle-aged man watching as young men and women tentacles soft touch rendezvous communication setup for later.
Finish your coffee. Go meet friends. Do a photo session. Write memoirs. Eat some Italian cracker sticks and a wiener. Newspaper headline: wife breaks wind as man blown away by answer.
Get used to free time and energy upsurge. Rules and repression eased off, leaving a field for play, free range. Don't be scared when you lose your job, when structure is removed during a time of free fall, sink or swim, on your own, no reference point. Nobody is looking at you for longer than a second. Nobody cares. You're not that important. Don't be paranoid. Let go of identity, free flow associate.
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