Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Not Obscure

To be not obscure, without attachment to ego, a not obscured mind has the ability to rest in awareness, to let go of thought, to be calm and clear, regardless of what is happening. A person with a not obscured mind would probably be able to sleep every night like a baby, without anxiety about what is going to happen tomorrow, or regret about what happened today. A not obscured person doesn't dwell on how somebody insulted him or her and doesn't waste time planning revenge. A not obscured person would be happy to live alone and happy to live with somebody. Desire, anger, confusion, and various emotions are not a problem. They're like air currents in the space of mind, or waves. Waves happen and then they don't. A not obscured mind recognizes the nature of mind and is therefore not led astray by the delusion of concepts, naive views about reality or strong emotions.

To be not obscured is my aspiration. However, like most people, my mind is obscured. I toss and turn at night sometimes, react to situations and become a burned out, discouraged, nervous wreck, obscured with negative thoughts and emotions.

We're born into confusion. My parents were confused. I understand now that I'm a parent, how it's difficult to be a parent. There are so many challenges. You want your child to grow up to be happy and wholesome. I appreciate the love and concern of my parents.

It's not easy to let go. Negative thoughts and emotions keep happening. That's fine. Let them come and go. The main thing is to have a sense of direction or aspiration. My aspiration is to let go of ego and to relax in the calm and clear nature of mind, rather than being blown about like a feather in the wind of hope and fear.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

You mentioned tossing and turning at night -- I don't sleep well myself for a variety of reasons, mostly physical. Lately, I've been experimenting a bit with mantras if I find myself lying awake in the middle of the night and it seems the Vajrasattva mantra works. Not absolutely sure yet, but it seems that on the night I've tried it when I wake up in the morning or hours later the last thing I can remember is doing the mantra.