buildings at the corner

monolithic mass 

the section above the top balcony needs repair

Often, when going for coffee, I pause to look at the apartment buildings on the corner, near the strip plaza. One building needs some work, on the facia above the balconies. The buildings appear large and solid, early in the morning, the rows of three by three windows in chunks, separated by balconies.

Every morning, noon and night the buildings are there, heavy, solid-looking, but in constant need of maintenance. Without care and supervision, the buildings would crumble and decay. The sky changes, various clouds, sometimes clear, sometimes dark. In the early morning, no cars were parked in the parking lot in front of the monolithic mass. I thought of the desolate arctic landscape, where in the summer, one finds endless rubble, rock hills and escarpments, numerous lakes, rivers, swamps, and open sea. In the arctic, one could wander forever and not be found.

the afterlife

Would you like to believe in an afterlife? Which part of your current life would you like to see continued? Of course, a person will answer he or she wants ego consciousness to continue. I want my ego to last for eternity. What exactly is ego? It’s a heap of transient characteristics, occurring in a loose pattern, or personality. Which part of your personality would you like to continue for eternity? Without a body, how will one feel good?  Do you think your mind could exist without a body? What would be the focal point of a disembodied mind? Ok, enough of this silly chatter.

Even though ego is obviously empty, I live as though ego is very important. If I really had gotten over ego, there would be no need to get angry or depressed. Each time I get upset, it’s like a statement of belief in myself. Feelings and thoughts don’t last. One moves along an endless sequence of sensation through space and time.

So if ego and self are empty, or impermanent, what continues from moment to moment? Without continuity, there would be no sequence. Sequence can only exist with before and after. The present only exists because of past and future. Something exists, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing. There would be no language. A highly structured world of language and tradition exists. The form appears empty, but emptiness only occurs through form.


One’s existence within the populated, structured world is transparent, impermanent, dreamlike. Each instant fades into memory or is forgotten. Very little of the here and now is even perceived, let alone remembered. One follows a trail of instants, selected, consciously or unconsciously, from an infinite ground of happening. 

peaches and cream

nostalgia

too bad it's not open anymore

the concept of ice cream

Peaches and cream, sometimes, but not always. Things are not always peaches and cream. Sometimes ice cream cone pops up when you least expect. Personally, I never eat ice cream. However, I love the concept of ice cream. I love watching people eat ice cream on a hot day. It stimulates the sucking reflex and probably puts the person back into infancy, for the duration of the ice cream cone. It's a way of comforting oneself. I get a similar effect from eating spaghetti, without the tomato sauce. I use olive oil and a little cheese. That's it.