Big Joe Smash, alias Lohbado

Here's the inspiring story of a man who nearly died during a plane crash over Peru. Thanks to the healing qualities of Morono Juice he experienced a miraculous recovery.

Big Joe: You're afraid to look at me? It took me a while to get used to the looks; the shock, how people would gasp, or turn pale when they first saw my burned off face. You think my face is bad, you should try living with it. Try waking up in the morning and seeing this face in the mirror. You never get used to it.

To not be depressed, I imagine my face is a painting, lots of texture, plenty of line and wrinkle decoration. Some people deliberately mutilate their skin with tatoos and piercing. I don't need any beauty treatment. Who knows, maybe face burning will be the next fad? Burn off your face as a primitivistic way of trying to feel something.

Let this funny face of mine be a warning. Stay away from drugs. I used to fly drugs out of Columbia. One day, the plane burst into fire over Peru and crashed in the jungle. We waited two weeks to be rescued. The only way we could survive was to eat those who didn't survive. For two years, my face looked like pepperoni pizza, all dressed.

Thanks to the healing properties of Morono Juce, my face is quite presentable.